2017: The Year of Everything

2017 in the books! So many downs and ups, tears and laughter, loss and growth. You always have those years that are remembered for their pivotal moments in your development as a person, for me this is one of those years.

It was pretty much full speed ahead once i decided to launch Wed Utah. I had help from all sides of the planet, I can't say enough thanks and praise to all the help i received. I brought on a lady who had some experience in the fashion industry and was able to get me a great fashion show for the event. pulled strings for the models and the dresses and hair and make up. Kari, Michelle, Sara, Lauren, Courtney, Ariel, Kristina- they manned the check in, help me set up and stuff boxes, taped so much shit to the walls haha. seriously I wouldn't have been able to get it all pulled together in time without them. I had amazing sponsors, Rachel Green and her Real Estate team were able to get me letter balloons at the last minute. Marcia with Sweet cravings made a cake and delectable cake pops that were gone before anyone could blink. Vendors like Cuisine Unlimited, Melange Mixology, Monica Smith the incredible harpist, and to the late Marc Taylor who was the DJ. The Falls hosted the event so well and we got sparkly linens from Rent Event Utah. Even the swag boxes were amazing- stuffed with chocolate, ruby snap cookies, coupons and giveaways from chatbooks. Skinworks School of Skincare- you guys need to get on that and get treated, Natalie's school is AWESOME! I mean- seriously.

So the launch party really put the gears into motion for the year and what a year, we took on SO many weddings, and THANK GOD I had Misty and Lauren as coordinators and Sara helping along the way when i needed. I created Revel and Posh because I wanted it to reflect the team that came together, to unify us as a group of creatives and hard workers. Keeping Muyly Miller Weddings just felt selfish. I mean I still use it for emails and what not, but my team, my soulmates are Revel and Posh.

Aside from weddings keeping us on our toes, we also had a quarterly digital magazine. The content and the ads, the coordination and the editing....my gosh- I think I told someone I should have drank more than I did. And then we ended the season with a random PR gig for a grand opening. Haha. I mean, why not?

With all this being done, trying to figure out parenting with my spouse going to school full time, I am surprised I made it through the season. I did leave a few things left untied, and I am working on those slowly, like getting our weddings posted, getting a vendor directory printed, some follow up on projects.

This year I also learned to be okay with cutting relationships off that were not conducive to my overall well being. I just had to go through the emotions of it all and once I did and let go- the liberation i felt was incredible. Even though i love people, I do, i love people, i love people to the point that i help them get married and see them off into an incredible life so they can experience even more love. but with love also comes commitment. So  for those that have loved me, I have reciprocated, with my heart i have committed to those around me that are with me day in and day out. for those that thought i was dispensable, I have also reciprocated, its not mean, its not childish, its a fact of life. have you ever heard the saying "invest in people who invest in you?"

I've been called old, i've been called self centered, i've been called a liar, a bitch, delusional. I've been called just about everything...to my face, or behind my back. I've been told that my processes are all over the place, or that my communication was bad. For all the happy moments I had, I also had about double the pitfalls in criticism.

But the reason i keep on keeping on is because I live by this motto " you aren't guaranteed tomorrow"

If everyday you do everything you are able to do to satisfy your needs, wants, your family, your business, your boss and can still go to bed happy than that was a successful day. if everyday you feel like you could be doing more, than you are always going to live in regret. You guys just need to try, do, make, go.  Everyday, do whatever it is your heart wants to get done. Yes, sometimes its silly things like chores, or changing butts or making macaroni and cheese, but go beyond that hum drum and think about you. think about the experience you can give your family that day. This is how I live and have been able to survive the critics and the nay sayers or the people who have no idea how hard i work but yet seem to have an opinion about how my life should be.

2017 also brought on a lot of appreciation for my kids. For as busy as I was, these little humans were with me all the time, in as good a mood as they could be, patient, kind and spirited. Kids take on so much, they have to grow and learn the world around them and then also follow adults around. Does that not sound daunting to you? haha. My little Arthur and my sweet Charbug- they are my glue.  And for every moment i have that i feel like a bad mom, I just go to the aquarium and people watch the bad moms and I feel so much better. Just Kidding. Okay...not really.

Also, for every project that I announce, Wes is equally begrudgingly and genuinely supportive. What man on this earth has a wife that decides to be a wedding planner, create a magazine, volunteer, remodel their house, write an ebook, design an app, and obsessively tries to find matching clothes for the kids?
My man. My man has THIS wife. he is an angel, a complete ANGEL. he is patient, kind, supportive, funny, stinky, hairy and he is a SUPER husband.

and for all of my family- who has put up with my last minute requests to babysit, or do hair and make up for a shoot, or let me borrow supplies or rent their clubhouse. I say it all the time, but I really am just blessed, more than I deserve.

My strengths in business really showed off their muscles this year and my weaknesses also lingered into the processes.

So now what, 2018? Part of me really just wants to go off grid and just chill and part of me wants to take what ive built and leverage it. My brain can't ever stop.But I have no real plans for anything...wait i lied, I already have charlottes birthday theme planned out.

So now photos! yay- I did so much with the kids this year so its going to be basically all my kids.

 Easter

 Book club wine exchange

 Heber  Valley Railroad with Grandma and Grandpa

 All the thomas trains!

Charlotte Turns 3 in May, Arthur Turns 1 August

 Donations of school and Art supplies to the childrens center, they provide mental illness assistance for kids and a pre school

Revel and Posh Team Photos by AK Studios

Fish Family Reunion

Fourth of July

That is wes laying down, he had to have a procedure done that shot dye up in his carotid artery to see if it was blocking vessels in his brain. they plugged up the hole and he had to lay down for an hour.

The before photos of the house before it was remodeled. I should take after photos, but I didn't haha.  this took my whole life from March to May

 Preschool for Charbug and Birthday for Wes, we lasted two weeks in Preschool. She just wasn't enjoying it and I just want a happy child. 

 my home made cake for wes, and by home made, i mean i took it out of the carton and threw them on the plate with candles, 36 years old.

September 2017- Arthur had to get his hyrdocele fixed at primarys, it was so sad, but he did awesome, Grandma kimmy bought a giant bean bag for the kids, I had two weddings in one day, i wore booties to kick some wedding booty! and a visit to arby's was worth the wait inside to get that cute face with the A

October Festivities-Such a busy month!

The Train Shoppe

 This was my entry into the Pillsbury bake off, I didn't even make category finalist...pfft

November 2017

25 pounds down!

 team lunch

LOVE event with Love Lake City, Donation Drive

 Food Bloggers dinner, I brought my cute MIL

Service project for the Childrens Justice Center, we made goodie bags, over 200 donated by Smiths

potty trained!

 Disney on Ice

 my first pecan pie

  day after thanksgiving

December

We enrolled charlotte in tumbling

Annual Book Club White Elephant Party

First time i let him loose in the play area at the aquarium, he was loving it!

 Caught him playing with his spit...

 this kid loves peas and broccoli

 donations for primary's

 we turned a whiteboard into a slide

if it fits...

angel tree shopping with Love Lake City

 they're unshameful judging

 Photos with santa, that time i had a fast pass but still waited in line...ugh

 Harry Potter land

 His First oreo

Christmas Day 

 My Birthday

toodles 2017- we all got sick!

 he sleeps like this haha

  Didnt get the seat, but after going through the interviews, I have decided being on the planning commission is a death sentence if you zone something poorly

 Cookie exchange from my long time Emily

 Hot chocolate, Charlotte put her marshmallows in one by one....

 our sweet girl, she put her arms around us and we melted

 we made bird feeders out of pinecones with peanut butter, popcorn and oats, we refilled it once, and we got to see the birds!

 I tried to make fruit strips in the oven and then was given a food deydrator, then later found out my oven has a dehydrator option haha

ignorance has lost it's bliss

yesterday i watched American Race and the National Geographic Documentary Hell on Earth - The Fall of Syria & the Rise of Isis ...like one after the other. Intense doesn't even describe it. It made me sad, mad, protective. and my heart breaks for these families who have had to endure all of this civil warfare. The kids...I can't.. as a mom, you are torn inside and out when you see other mom's grieve.

I can't say I am always up to date on whats going on in the world, I am not always perceptive to whats happening in our country, but these were both eye opening shows that made me realize how backwards our human race had become. I got bashed for my opinion on that travel ban and the limit of refugees coming in, but after watching this, we wouldn't be able to sustain that big of an influx of people coming in, we can barely handle those crossing the borders with the resources we have. extremists are here in our own country, why invite more people from over seas masking as an innocent victim. Obama should have taken out that regime when he had the chance... seriously, I am angry. I am also angry that we have a current president who thinks that sending the media on a hamster wheel of stories about Russian collusion is going to take away the fact that he has no idea what he's doing and his policies just divide the ENTIRE world.

I am now admittedly, ignorant to the black lives matter movement, I am stunned how 'economic racism' is still in this country. what a shame. shame on these states who allow it to happen. noone should ever be 'red lined' in their life. its sad. I feel horrible for not choosing to educate myself on this earlier and then having an opinion on the race concerns.

So that is part of the problem, my ignorance to what was outside my safe bubble. I obviously am not the only one, otherwise these issues in our world wouldn't be headlines right now. we all walk around with these blinders on or the notion of 'it will take care of it self' No.

i am proud of these courageous people that advocate for what's right, who go through ups and downs for the greater good of the human race. I like the sound of their squeeky wheels now.

On Purpose: Living and Loving

When I think about the past 6 months, I think "shit, what have i done?!" Seriously, what is it have i done? why am i so busy but yet can sit here and write a blog post, haha.

I created a digital magazine with a simple message of connecting you to the professionals. it  seems obvious, but to me it wasn't-  i wanted to break the mold of seeing the same old same old, i wanted to highlight everyone i could that was trying to make a name for themselves in the industry. Now, I know Wed Utah isn't the biggest platform out there, but  to be featured on something with actual viewers is a big deal to anyone. it means your work is being validated, it's something to give these guys confidence to help catapult them into meaningful business.

My first issue was highlighting a culture i've never even been a part of, then on the second issue, I put a plus size model on the cover, I did a shoot in a boxing ring. I told my models to be serious, feel empowered and be proud. i put lifestyle bloggers in the issue with their recipes- whoa! i got a lot of head shaking with that one. "but you're a wedding magazine" I know..and it's MY magazine, I can do what I want..,hmmm..oh,  I also wrote my first e-guide, a how to plan your own wedding guide. yep. it can be purchased even...meep!


What else have I done? Oh yeah, took on  weddings when I said I wasn't going to. But  I am grateful for them, because they were all referrals-  I didn't have to do any promotions, campaigns, pitching or anything...they just came to me. And its actually a little more stressful cause there are two parties to impress here, the bride and groom, and the person who referred them.

Luckily I have a legit team this year. I can't even believe it. I can't even believe they want to work with me...cause I am beastly most of the time haha. but I am really really thankful for the ladies, we are getting photos taken this month and i know its just photos, but it represents more to me than that.

I planned a launch party for the magazine in like 5 weeks. haha. it was nuts. but i wouldn't have been able to pull it off without all these people and so much more. they busted their asses without hardly knowing what it was I was trying to do myself. At the end of the night, when the party was done, my heart was full and i cried on the way home. I cried cause  i couldn't comprehend why all these people came when they didn't even know me, I didn't understand that someone would come support something that hadn't been around yet. but here they were.

Okay, so this isn't about all business...the past 6 months, what have I done?

I have put myself in a spotlight now that encourages people to be judgmental and mean. Someone told me " i just don't find you amazing" okay..

amazing. hmmm. i didn't know i was doing this to somehow convince you I was amazing. and if that is what it seems like i am doing, than I am missing the mark here. I am doing this to let other people know they are amazing. I am doing a magazine to tell other vendors no matter how long they have been around, they can have a publication to look to for support and tell them they are amazing. i do it for the brides and grooms so that they feel amazing on their big day, I do it so people who are looking to build a brand can look at someone and say, ' well if she can do that , i definitely can'

also, im sorry if me posting about my family offends you, i think my husband and my kids are the greatest, and i post. thats who what i do. and in all honesty, instagram has become my 'blog' now cause all the photos that would have gone into my blog are there with shorter captions and stories.

Also, i am learning now that with a business, i feel like my kids are growing up so much faster! haha...like the months are flying by  with Charlotte, I took a full year off of anything wedding related  and i feel like i just paid more attention to her growth. with Arthur im like flying by the seat of my pants getting him fed and diapers changed

and i think everyone knows by now that charbug turned 3

https://www.facebook.com/muyly.miller/videos/10209198456344853/

we put her in a pre-3 school and she has just grown so much, like, you know your kids are smart, but then these teachers have a way to bringing it to the surface. she talks more, she is confident in her ability to process and repeat. its amazing. i love her to pieces.also i reposted this blog article about missing my time with my first born. its been hard for me to balance my time with both kids, and i just feel like im losing that one on one time i was spoiled with when it was just me a chuck. Do any of you moms feel that way. i really got emotional about it, but im emotional about everything anymore. when i see babies i get emotional, when i see those subaru commercials where the kids are grown up and moving to college, i get emotional. I know this would be a cue for some to tell me to have another baby..but i am done. and maybe thats why i am sad, cause i am done. and so my time with two kiddos is cherished everyday. living and loving on purpose, everyday, not with purpose, but on purpose, cause other people depend on me...and i depend on them. 

now to start planning arthur's first birthday..yeah..ONE!! 

The Movement I Make for Women

It's been a while since I have 'blogged' I don't know, its probably cause I post my stuff on insta and facebook and its easier to pop out a photo and a caption than to sit and really type. But I really don't have a ton of time on my hands, Art is down for a nap, Charlotte is watching Ryans Toy Review and slowly slurping her organic cereal with inorganic milk until she decides she wants me to be Toby and play trains with her.

I wanted to take a few minutes to really weigh in on this whole Women's Rights thing, and how it has turned from Pro Choice to an anti Trump rally joke.

I'm seeing all these ladies stomping around with pink hats on shaped like cat ears, something I'd buy my two year old...but if you know Charlotte, she wouldn't even wear that,

that shouldn't be your symbol of woman's rights. a fucking pink hat with cat ears...really?

I'm seeing posters with  a female uterus blown up on it marching down along the road to the capital and people are waving and cheering like no one has ever seen one before...really? a uterus? that's your symbol of women's rights?

All of a sudden there are words like 'pussy' flying around like its supposed to hurt somebody..again, saying pussy is going to be your word of the day to fight for women's rights?

I get it. I get that women have historically been treated like the lesser of two beings when standing next to a man. I get that we are considered bitches when we try to compete on that corporate ladder, but men are considered motivated. I think some of you don't realize i worked with males all my life before Muyly Miller Company. my last job was the worst, I worked with a guy who had little mans disease cause he can't find a girl to love him cause he lets his ego get in the way of just being a good guy. I worked with a sales guy who forged signatures so he could get ahead on his commissions, I worked with a guy who would hate office members every other week, so dramatic right? I mean,  you put all the dicks in one room and they are literally thinking about measuring how large their penises are while bashing the other office members that they can't communicate correctly with them. I am not even joking.

My old boss was considered a woman hater, unbeknownst to him, and people always wondered why I worked for him.

Let me tell you why I enjoyed working for him. It's cause I made it a point to let him know, by my actions and my completed tasks that I could handle whatever he dished out, without complaining and whining and whipping my i am woman hear more roar sign out like "look at me, i don't need those menial tasks cause I am above that"

What I am saying is, all the women out there, i get you want to march in solidarity..but now that day is done. now what? go back to work, toot your horn that you were on TV with a pink hat on carrying a poster that had some writing on it? Now what? are you going to pout the whole week at work and wonder why you are doing the job you are doing while the men are moving on with their lives?

Your anti trump movement gave him a platform to artificially support the rights of women, you gave him a bigger voice now cause you know what..you enabled it. you have enabled him to be on the news even more, you have enabled him to be on our social media feeds, even more, you have made it so that CNN and FOX, NPR and NBC , can all use you and exploit you as a source of news to talk about trump.

while you are at work, just do your work, and complete above and beyond all the tasks you need to do to get ahead, or to get that award. work your ass off to land that lead, work your ass off to make sure you are home in time to play with your kids and show your kids that not only can you work, work hard, but you can balance that with your family life and love on those kids like none other.

On the weekends, do a service project and show your kids that not only do you work, and love them , but you love others. you love others enough to donate your time to help a stranger, or donate items to charity.

You show all of us that you are more than just a media hungry feminist boasting about women's rights when really all you want to do is make it in life and be seen as an equal. I promise you- I never had problems with my boss cause i worked hard to show him i was just as capable. and now I'm running my own magazine and he's shaking his head in disbelief that i paid that much attention.

You control you, you control how people treat you, respect you, view you. you do it only by you. you aren't working any harder or any lesser than men, we all have different ways and views on what success is. Work to fulfill your pride and your families needs. I've met so many women C level leaders that had it way more worse than some of us and manage to make way more than their male counterparts.

I am not telling you to get off your platform, but sometimes you need to think about your actions in how you move forward..that's how it helps everyone move forward. lead by example, and then empower the next woman, and the next and the next...quit being a catty whiny victimized employee (you know you are if you complain more than you work) and just do your work to move ahead where you want to be in life. We live in the United States of America. We have so much more freedoms than some and you should take advantage of what you have and be grateful for where you live. Let time run its course with this new potus, and respect the country you live in.

that is all. back to mommyhood and a crying baby.