The past 3 years I’ve been dealing with a person who unexpectedly decided to put me on the dislike column of their friendship list. it's like that trendy term that was all over the internet over the summer called ghosting, but this wasn’t really that for me. Imagine hanging out with someone so often that people were starting to ask if you were related. Im comparing this to the likes of that liberty mutual commercial, the girl loved her car named brad, they’d been through everything together and then one day that friendship was ‘totalled’
the inquisitive person that I am, i did reach out and ask what it was that I did wrong. And I am realizing that maybe what i said, in my head was innocent, came out wrong and was taken personally. Though I apologized, I basically got the “i don’t care what you have to say anymore” statement. Of course I was completely defensive , anyone who knows me knows my intent for the people I care about is never ill or harbors ulterior motives.
So its been a wave of emotions and interactions with this person. I was heart broken in the beginning, when you lose a friend, it's hard, but then you question if they were really the person you thought you knew, the kind of person you wanted to be friends with in the first place.. cause now, how can the person i adored turn out to be this different person who despises me?
I know there are many phases of friendship, but when do you finally let go? my olive branch has always been a christmas card, an invite to a party or lunch. but its been awkward. When I got married, not a word to me, when I had my baby- you thought it was like old times again with the “support”. I realized i had been to all of their child's milestone celebrations since then, and no visits to ours. I started feeling that all of a sudden these cryptic posts and blatant celebrations with common friends were a jab at me. and why? how after so long, an apology and invitation to renew a friendship im still being punished for a statement i made? I finally reached my closure on this situation with this article
I wasn’t even looking for this article, it just popped up on my screen on Facebook and to be honest, I wanted to see if I had those traits and all of a sudden, The person I couldn’t figure out was this person in the article. And its not meant to be a slight or an insult to this person, it's just all those actions and judgements i’ve been on the receiving end of, make sense. So now, do you know a narcissist in your life..they may not even know what they are doing or aware. they just don’t. and so, do you try to fix it, or do you just let out a sigh of relief and whisper a soft forgiveness. Sometimes people in relationships, no matter what kind get into a mode of “what the hell am I doing wrong” and it's actually about an unaware narcissist. Read the article if you are feeling like you were in the same boat as me..you will feel liberated, beyond!
