When I think about the past 6 months, I think "shit, what have i done?!" Seriously, what is it have i done? why am i so busy but yet can sit here and write a blog post, haha.
I created a digital magazine with a simple message of connecting you to the professionals. it seems obvious, but to me it wasn't- i wanted to break the mold of seeing the same old same old, i wanted to highlight everyone i could that was trying to make a name for themselves in the industry. Now, I know Wed Utah isn't the biggest platform out there, but to be featured on something with actual viewers is a big deal to anyone. it means your work is being validated, it's something to give these guys confidence to help catapult them into meaningful business.
My first issue was highlighting a culture i've never even been a part of, then on the second issue, I put a plus size model on the cover, I did a shoot in a boxing ring. I told my models to be serious, feel empowered and be proud. i put lifestyle bloggers in the issue with their recipes- whoa! i got a lot of head shaking with that one. "but you're a wedding magazine" I know..and it's MY magazine, I can do what I want..,hmmm..oh, I also wrote my first e-guide, a how to plan your own wedding guide. yep. it can be purchased even...meep!
What else have I done? Oh yeah, took on weddings when I said I wasn't going to. But I am grateful for them, because they were all referrals- I didn't have to do any promotions, campaigns, pitching or anything...they just came to me. And its actually a little more stressful cause there are two parties to impress here, the bride and groom, and the person who referred them.
Luckily I have a legit team this year. I can't even believe it. I can't even believe they want to work with me...cause I am beastly most of the time haha. but I am really really thankful for the ladies, we are getting photos taken this month and i know its just photos, but it represents more to me than that.
I planned a launch party for the magazine in like 5 weeks. haha. it was nuts. but i wouldn't have been able to pull it off without all these people and so much more. they busted their asses without hardly knowing what it was I was trying to do myself. At the end of the night, when the party was done, my heart was full and i cried on the way home. I cried cause i couldn't comprehend why all these people came when they didn't even know me, I didn't understand that someone would come support something that hadn't been around yet. but here they were.
Okay, so this isn't about all business...the past 6 months, what have I done?
I have put myself in a spotlight now that encourages people to be judgmental and mean. Someone told me " i just don't find you amazing" okay..
amazing. hmmm. i didn't know i was doing this to somehow convince you I was amazing. and if that is what it seems like i am doing, than I am missing the mark here. I am doing this to let other people know they are amazing. I am doing a magazine to tell other vendors no matter how long they have been around, they can have a publication to look to for support and tell them they are amazing. i do it for the brides and grooms so that they feel amazing on their big day, I do it so people who are looking to build a brand can look at someone and say, ' well if she can do that , i definitely can'
also, im sorry if me posting about my family offends you, i think my husband and my kids are the greatest, and i post. thats who what i do. and in all honesty, instagram has become my 'blog' now cause all the photos that would have gone into my blog are there with shorter captions and stories.
Also, i am learning now that with a business, i feel like my kids are growing up so much faster! haha...like the months are flying by with Charlotte, I took a full year off of anything wedding related and i feel like i just paid more attention to her growth. with Arthur im like flying by the seat of my pants getting him fed and diapers changed
we put her in a pre-3 school and she has just grown so much, like, you know your kids are smart, but then these teachers have a way to bringing it to the surface. she talks more, she is confident in her ability to process and repeat. its amazing. i love her to pieces.also i reposted this blog article about missing my time with my first born. its been hard for me to balance my time with both kids, and i just feel like im losing that one on one time i was spoiled with when it was just me a chuck. Do any of you moms feel that way. i really got emotional about it, but im emotional about everything anymore. when i see babies i get emotional, when i see those subaru commercials where the kids are grown up and moving to college, i get emotional. I know this would be a cue for some to tell me to have another baby..but i am done. and maybe thats why i am sad, cause i am done. and so my time with two kiddos is cherished everyday. living and loving on purpose, everyday, not with purpose, but on purpose, cause other people depend on me...and i depend on them.
now to start planning arthur's first birthday..yeah..ONE!!
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