I just read this article above and I can't say that it surprised me. Let me address the last part of my post Title too, Girl Competition, as soon as I finished that first sentence, I think i thought about a handful of girls/wives/moms who are quick to judge my post before i even begin. if you are one of them..you will feel it in your soul and you can put that judgy shit away.
When I read that article, I really related. Does it make me a horrible person. I hope not. Does it make me an honest person...yes, does it make you view me as the crappiest wife of the year...it may, but I don't feel that way.
It came to my attention that my busy mooself is neglecting many things; My health, My baby, and my husband, and putting attention on one thing, Money.
Money is a big issue no matter who you are. you either need it and blow it, pay bills, save some or you have way too much of it and end up doing something stupid with it. When I quit work, man it was the hardest thing for me. I had so much anxiety and stress over it. I didn't want to be the one financially ruining the family cause I was taking care of a baby. I know there are a lot of moms out there who stay at home and for them, it's the best thing in the world. But why have I been so busy? I can't do it, I can't be a stay at home mom. So I turned into a work at home mom.
A Work at Home Mom that doesn't really make any money yet, maybe a few hundred here and there, and I'm continually working on projects that cost me money.
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Neglecting My Health: its obvious, and i've been candid about it and my process of trying to lose the weight. But its not just weight, its emotional and mental health too I need to work on. Being busy helps me ignore that I'm unhappy with some of my life, and mentally- im still on an antidepressant. I tried to go off of it,,and that was a disaster.
My Baby: i wouldn't say neglect like you need to call child services on me. But i admit that when im running around on appointments, she is in the car seat almost the whole time, from the car ride to popping the car seat into the stroller, back into the car and then off to another appointment. Im sure a good diaper changing would have helped, but there's the neglect. Also, to get the time to feed her properly in between driving and appointments, doesn't happen. so its a snack cup of the most organic crackers and puffs I can find..cause they're organic right? and finding a sitter makes me feel too guilty. and everyone is like 'what about your mom and your mother in law' well first, my mom is old, and widowed. She can only handle charlotte for a little while, my mom has lost all her confidence in her ability with children so that makes me lose confidence in her ability as well. Wes' mom watches a toddler and new born on tuesdays, and then another toddler on Fridays, sometimes all 3. She has a life and she also only see's her husband one week a month. So i don't want to impede by adding another child to her babysitting list. Plus with babysitting, most people want you to take your baby and all their stuff to their house, lets add an hour to that whole ordeal of packing it all. So it's just easier for me to take charlotte and make it up to her with lots of hugs and kisses and extra time in the bath at the end of the day. plus I love her so much..i didn't have that feeling with her the first few months of her life, and I enjoy this feeling so much with her so there goes that guilty thing again of leaving her somewhere.
My Husband: With my focus on projects and making sure my baby is fed, I'm pretty sure my husband misses me, aside from him being at work for 9 hours. When we first dated, we were hilariously fun, loved just being in each others company, but now it's he does his thing upstairs, I do my thing downstairs and when we finally have a moment of connecting, its brief and we go on with our own things again. My mind is always thinking about my next idea and he is always thinking about how he's going to pay down those charges. I know this sounds like a fat person cliche, but food always brings us together but now that we are dieting....well, you know.
Me and Wes are awesome parents. I know we are, we teach her, we play with her we encourage her and we have a toddler that sleeps like a rockstar- I have to say thats because we were diligent in the beginning with keeping her on a schedule, doing the same routines and then easing in flexibility when needed. She adapts well to many of my situations out and about and when we have to take her somewhere public- she is well behaved.
Me and Wes are also very independent people. we were when we met each other. I like to go do things on my own, and so does he. It's been an adjustment now with Charlotte to not be able to just leave when we want or leave the one parent alone while the one goes out and has some fun.
So having a baby didn't bring us closer together, it made us closer to Charlotte cause that's the only thing we can do with our energy when we aren't thinking about our own things. I promise you I am not the only one in this boat, I know there are many women out there who may be going through something similar. So don't feel alone. the question is, how do we fix it now so we don't end up being divorced? I am not saying i have intention on this, and people get scared of that word like shit's going to happen tomorrow. My point is that, don't hide behind some curtain that things are okay. take some steps to help one another.
My eye opener on this situation happened one after the other so I know I need to do my part to be a part of my Husband again. As i brainstorm ideas on how he and I can get back in touch with each other, don't be afraid to let me know your thoughts....well I might have scared you with that girl competition thing, but don't be scared, seriously the worst I can do is defriend you on facebook. haha.
