I Confess, I'm a Harmon's 'Last Chance' Stroller

If you follow me on instagram you may have seen me post a couple things about my finds at Harmon's and the unreal low prices of these items.

Harmons does deep discounts on certain items throughout the store that they label "Last Chance" . the Last Chance items usually run in the middle aisles in pantry essentials and cleaning supplies. But I've found some in the beauty aisles and baby items. 

I've purchased bleach for a quarter..25 cents! and i bought all of them they had. I bought coconut water for a quarter as well!

Its also good to look in the dressings and marinades cause if you are stuck on what to cook for dinner, chances are you will see a last chance item on the shelf. I got a yummy organic teriyaki sauce and a yummy asian bbq sauce for $1. just be warned to not fall in  love with any of the Last Chance items, as they are the last time you will see them on the shelves. 

my latest discovery was stash tea that I got for 91 cents a box...stash is usually $4 a box, and I love tea so this was awesome! I also got this yummy trail mix for $2. most quality trail mixes run $7-$10 and so i bought all they had and its been yummy with my morning yogurt. 

I also got organic coffee for $2 a bag as well. 

So, forget walking around Target , let me stroll at a store in which the items they have I really need! Does this confession all of sudden put in the 'old lady' category...sure! and I'm okay with that..i love saving a few bucks any time, anywhere! Plus it releases that stigma that Harmon's is so pricey..if you shop the sales and their generics, its actually pretty reasonable and comparable to many other stores. 

So all you hungry savings seekers, I hope to see your Last Chance Stroll pictures! 

My Less behind the Fear

Just  a couple days ago I posted about publishing my very own cookbook. For those close to me, you know I love to cook, I love food, I love to entertain with food and so on. I am so amazed with the outpouring of support and comments!

It has been a big dream of mine since my mid 20's to do something with cooking- whether teach it, write about it, or maybe have a show. I didn't start cooking until that time as well, I mean I knew I loved food, but I remember as a little kid watching cooking shows on KUED or KBYU in the mornings and it was Yen Can Cook and Julia Childs on , unknowingly, that it was preserved in me this curiosity of cooking. Of course, I also now appreciate those days my mom would come home from work and spend hours prepping our dinners. Asians know how its done,  with fresh home made cooking, they appreciate the process of developing flavors. One stir fry encompassed a couple hours of work and I am totally not even joking. From start to finish, my mom would wash, chop, and lay out all of her veggies and seasonings. Then start the rice, make a sauce and then cook some sort of protein. However, there were days that she didn't have the energy to do all that, so a fried egg with soy sauce on top of rice was dinner.

My appreciation for food also stems from my early childhood days when we were poor and my parents were working multiple jobs. My mom would buy one whole chicken and stretch it for a whole week to feed our family of four. She would make soup from the bones. Rice was always a staple and if we ran out of chicken, it was just rice and soy sauce for me. So these days, and as I was growing up and earning my own income, my mom tells me- "don't worry about spending your money on food, eat well."

This cook book of mine will include some of my Mom's cooking, not sure if there will be 'recipes' per Se cause she is not a recipe type of person, but if I can document as much as I can of her love and skill into a pan of stir fry, I will feel accomplished in upholding her story and her legacy for Charlotte.

That's another part of this book journey, making sure my kid (or even kids)  understand that they are culturally blessed with an American and a Cambodian/Chinese background and with family that didn't live with silver spoons in their mouths.

One comment from my social media pages that is common is 'accomplished'. I am being congratulated for my accomplishments and it feels great, though I humbly deny the accomplishment in the sense of 'being on TV' or becoming an author  or making baby clothes. I feel my accomplishment is more of Fearing Less.  I want people to know that I grew up  with a constant mode of self doubt, lack of self esteem and  no confidence whatsoever,  and my ideas were always too American or too crazy or laughed at.  It took me years, and you can tell, well into my thirties now to gain that might and that fight to discard self doubt and fear of just going for it. Once that barrier is broken, it really is astounding how the world opens up.  you suddenly feel empowered and you feel like your life is meant to be lived to the fullest extent possible. Support, Support is also key. I always thank God for my supportive family and friends. they encourage me, praise me and let me know where I can improve. With the shedding of self doubt and fear, the gain of confidence and drive and a close circle of love and support,  anyone can accomplish anything, it is so true. I post things to inspire people to follow their hearts and their goals, not to boast.

I am proud of my 'accomplishments' by trusting in myself and my abilities and surrounding myself with good people. If you need someone to stand behind you on your ideas and goals, don't shy away from calling on me. I am in your corner!

Forever Our Girl

A quick visit to the Park cured her cabin fever. This girl loves to be outside! and i am THAT overprotective mother dressing her like this in 95 degree weather.

She likes to let us know she is one even after she tells us.

She loves her daddy so much. They can't get enough of each other when he is home.

I love this forever girl of ours!

Divorce and Girl Competition

http://www.popsugar.com/moms/Baby-Caused-Divorce-37867582

I just read this article above and I can't say that it surprised me. Let me address the last part of my post Title too, Girl Competition, as soon as I finished that first sentence, I think i thought about a handful of girls/wives/moms who are quick to judge my post before i even begin. if you are one of them..you will feel it in your soul and you can put that judgy shit away.

When I read that article, I really related. Does it make me a horrible person. I hope not. Does it make me an honest person...yes, does it make you view me as the crappiest wife of the year...it may, but I don't feel that way.

It came to my attention that my busy mooself is neglecting many things; My health, My baby, and my husband, and putting attention on one thing, Money.

Money is a big issue no matter who you are. you either need it and blow it, pay bills, save some or you have way too much of it  and end up doing something stupid with it. When I quit work, man it was the hardest thing for me. I had so much anxiety and stress over it. I didn't want to be the one financially ruining the family cause I was taking care of a baby. I know there are a lot of moms out there who stay at  home and for them, it's the best thing in the world. But why have I been so busy? I can't do it, I can't be a stay at home mom. So I turned into a work at home mom.

A Work at Home Mom that doesn't really make any money yet, maybe a few hundred here and there, and I'm continually working on projects that cost me money.
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Neglecting My Health: its obvious, and i've been candid about it and my process of trying to lose the weight. But its not just weight, its emotional and mental health too I need to work on. Being busy helps me ignore that I'm unhappy with some of my life, and mentally- im still on an antidepressant. I tried to go off of it,,and that was a disaster.

My Baby: i wouldn't say neglect like you need to call child services on me. But i admit that when im running around on appointments, she is in the car seat almost the whole time, from the car ride to popping the car seat into the stroller, back into the car and then off to another appointment. Im sure a good diaper changing would have helped, but there's the neglect. Also, to get the time to feed her properly in between driving and appointments, doesn't happen. so its a snack cup of the most organic crackers and puffs I can find..cause they're organic right? and finding a sitter makes me feel too guilty. and everyone is like 'what about your mom and your mother in law' well first, my mom is old, and widowed. She can only handle charlotte for a little while, my mom has lost all her confidence in her ability with children so that makes me lose confidence in her ability as well. Wes' mom watches a toddler and new born on tuesdays, and then another toddler on Fridays, sometimes all 3. She has a life and she also only see's her husband one week a month. So i don't want to impede by adding another child to her babysitting list. Plus with babysitting, most people want you to take your baby and all their stuff to their house, lets add an hour to that whole ordeal of packing it all. So it's just easier for me to take charlotte and make it up to her with lots of hugs and kisses and extra time in the bath at the end of the day. plus I love her so much..i didn't have that feeling with her the first few months of her life, and I enjoy this feeling so much with her so there goes that guilty thing again of leaving her somewhere.

My Husband: With my focus on projects and making sure my baby is fed, I'm pretty sure my husband misses me, aside from him being at work for 9 hours. When we first dated, we were hilariously fun, loved just being in each others company, but now it's he does his thing upstairs, I do my thing downstairs and when we finally have a moment of connecting, its brief and we go on with our own things again. My mind is always thinking about my next idea and he is always thinking about how he's going to pay down those charges. I know this sounds like a fat person cliche, but food always brings us together but now that we are dieting....well, you know.

Me and Wes are awesome parents. I know we are, we teach her, we play with her we encourage her and we have a toddler that sleeps like a rockstar- I have to say thats because we were diligent in the beginning with keeping her on a schedule, doing the same routines and then easing in flexibility when needed. She adapts well to many of my situations out and about and when we have to take her somewhere public- she is well behaved.


Me and Wes are also very independent people. we were when we met each other. I like to go do things on my own, and so does he. It's been an adjustment now with Charlotte to not be able to just leave when we want or leave the one parent alone while the one goes out and has some fun.

So having a baby didn't bring us closer together, it made us closer to Charlotte cause that's the only thing we can do with our energy when we aren't thinking about our own things. I promise you I am not the only one in this boat, I know there are many women out there who may be going through something similar. So don't feel alone. the question is, how do we fix it now so we don't end up being divorced? I am not saying i have intention on this, and people get scared of that word like shit's going to happen tomorrow. My point is that, don't hide behind some curtain that things are okay. take some steps to help one another.

My eye opener on this situation happened one after the other so I know I need to do my part to be a part of my Husband again. As i brainstorm ideas on how he and I can get back in touch with each other, don't be afraid to let me know your thoughts....well I might have scared you with that girl competition thing, but don't be scared, seriously the worst I can do is defriend you on facebook. haha.